Panel 1 – dad’s apartment
Panel 2 – bus to mother’s apartment
Panel 3 – mother’s apartment, next day (different clothes)
Panel 4 – school, another day (different clothes)
I appreciate the fact that you are asking the reader to employ a little brain power to figure out what (and where) is transpiring and not spoon feeding us with “what, where, who captions.”
That said, the see-saw compression and decompression of your narrative, does take getting used to.
One of the most important discoveries in my misbegotten youth was, like most, Los Bros Hernandez’s Love and Rockets and in particular, Xaime’s tales of Maggie and Hopey’s exploits. His frequent jumps temporally and spatially in his narratives with nary a caption was jarring at first to the uninitiated, but gradually it became an effective and integral part to his storytelling technique. It also helped that he could draw like a mofo.
You can draw like a mofo. And your story is a bold experiment in the web comic medium.
And Panel 8 flashes back to his father’s apartment — leaving unexplained why Alex’s note is still there on the fridge, and why his father’s furious call never came.
Sorry to analyze the thing while its still in progress, but I didn’t catch the details of this one on the first rapid read-through either (bad habits from reading standard comics that really spoon-feed) and I think it’s worth catching….
Please god, don’t let this one die. One the very few plots in any comic, book, movie, game, or any other medium to get me honestly intrigued in a very long while. Keep up the great work.
[...] past, where Mr. Stewart shifts to first person narrative. The writing here is reminiscent of the noir voice employed by Dashiel Hammett and Raymond Chandler: simple, matter-of-fact observations with an [...]
April 12th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
damn. ouch.
April 12th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Wait, I’m missing something… first he’s leaving the house, then he’s taking the bus, then he’s back home? Then he goes to school?
April 12th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Panel 1 – dad’s apartment
Panel 2 – bus to mother’s apartment
Panel 3 – mother’s apartment, next day (different clothes)
Panel 4 – school, another day (different clothes)
Sorry to confuse you…
April 13th, 2009 at 5:09 am
I appreciate the fact that you are asking the reader to employ a little brain power to figure out what (and where) is transpiring and not spoon feeding us with “what, where, who captions.”
That said, the see-saw compression and decompression of your narrative, does take getting used to.
One of the most important discoveries in my misbegotten youth was, like most, Los Bros Hernandez’s Love and Rockets and in particular, Xaime’s tales of Maggie and Hopey’s exploits. His frequent jumps temporally and spatially in his narratives with nary a caption was jarring at first to the uninitiated, but gradually it became an effective and integral part to his storytelling technique. It also helped that he could draw like a mofo.
You can draw like a mofo. And your story is a bold experiment in the web comic medium.
April 13th, 2009 at 6:28 am
Good stuff here. I hope this paves the way for more long form stories on the web, especially if they’re of this quality.
April 13th, 2009 at 7:12 am
Cheating’s for losers.
Awesome drunk guy inthe bus!
Happy long chocolate weekend!
April 13th, 2009 at 7:36 am
Awesome work, Cameron.
I followed the narrative of this page with no problems at all. Looking forward to the next page. — S.
April 13th, 2009 at 9:46 am
I think that you should just make a massive, six hundred panel update for next Sunday.
That’d be freaking sweet. (I’m sure the other fans are behind this idea, too!)
April 13th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
I found this very easy to follow as well. Great work Cameron! I can’t wait to see what follows.
April 14th, 2009 at 2:02 am
*foreshadowed spoiler alert*
And Panel 8 flashes back to his father’s apartment — leaving unexplained why Alex’s note is still there on the fridge, and why his father’s furious call never came.
Sorry to analyze the thing while its still in progress, but I didn’t catch the details of this one on the first rapid read-through either (bad habits from reading standard comics that really spoon-feed) and I think it’s worth catching….
April 15th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Have you ever plagiarized?
April 23rd, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Please god, don’t let this one die. One the very few plots in any comic, book, movie, game, or any other medium to get me honestly intrigued in a very long while. Keep up the great work.
April 25th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
This comic is brilliant. I adore you for putting something so worthwhile out on the wide (but not always deep) webs. Thanks.
April 26th, 2009 at 6:07 am
is this coming back? last update was a while ago now…
June 16th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
[...] past, where Mr. Stewart shifts to first person narrative. The writing here is reminiscent of the noir voice employed by Dashiel Hammett and Raymond Chandler: simple, matter-of-fact observations with an [...]